gosh the haze is terrible. (my own picture!)
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"You're very successful now huh?" really?
Work's been busy and stressful. I'm sick too, (a light fever, migraine and flu that never goes away), so I've been grabbing sleep whenever I can but it's just been a constant roller coaster ride of "I'm doing quite good" and "Kill me now this sucks!". But a thing's been bugging me more than anything else. The issue of success.
What is success?
Owning a couple awesome cars? Having a nice condo(s)? Having a million bucks in the bank? Having an awesome family? All of the above? Happiness?
That's kinda arbitrary, isn't it?
Woo hoo? (image from bang2write.com)
What's success to me?
Other than the occasional daydream of 'what if' fantasies of living live in the fast lane, owning all the 'generic' forms of success (cash, card, club, etc... you get the drift), I sorta realize, that's not really my kind of lifestyle. I'm more easy going than that. But herein lies a second problem.
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I don't have a concept of what I can consider success.
"No Sarah, it's not found with a Google search!" (image from bluemagnetinteractive.com)
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So let's go back to the beginning.
There are many facets in what can be considered success... Being rich, being famous, being the best in what you do, leaving behind something that you'll remember. Being accepted in your community, Achieving... something. It's convoluted, and there are just no friggin' rules.
asdfghjkl:! (from www.arghhh.se)
But the key is simple - success in what matters to you. One's concept of success is what makes one's DRIVE. The motivation is also what makes your goal of success reachable, or not.
I am able to do a lot of things. I want to excel in many things. But I haven't found anything that I have an extreme DRIVE for. I want to try everything, but I don't have the time, resources or commitment to. My ultimate is not there. At least, no longer.
I used to measure my success by making people happy. But humans are the darnedest thing ever. We suck. We abuse each other. We take advantage. We kill. Then, there are things I'm good at. But it is now also mundane and boring. The stuff I push for excellence for the so-called success has been somewhat achieved, and come out wanting. So there's that too.
(from hellcat.org)
There are also the public perception of what people consider success. On that matter? You'll never satisfy them, and they don't live your life, so what's the point? Besides, people notwithstanding, life has just waaayyy too much drama for my tastes.
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So is it fair that for me, success now is being able to make a day to day without any drama, for now? Cause I really don't know what I'm doing. And honestly, the adventure of day to day is awesome. I'm happy. I'm successful. And I mean it.
And yes, I have regrets, I have things I would have, could have, can currently do better. But I'm just gonna take things in stride. No apologies. I try, I really try and I do it like I have nothing to lose. It's just better. At least for now.
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So... What's success to you?
