Insecurities - A Monolouge

Crap. I've failed. Again. And Again. And again. And now again.

Damn it.

Senses Nulled,
Conscious Ignored;
Leaving,
A greater step towards doom.

Have i done enough to put me in place? Have i done enough of what He says? Have i ignored, just a little too much?

Wretched. Wretched. Wretched. Wretched. Wretched. Wretched. Wretched.

For i desired too much for what i shouldn't. And i did more of what i need not.

I'm insecure. I'm lost. Perhaps soon forever.

You stupid adulterine, cheating, double-crossing, faithless, false-hearted, fickle, foresworn, inconstant, incontinent, moonlighting, not true to, of bad faith, perfidious, philandering, recreant, shifty, snaky, sneaking, traitorous, treasonable, two-faced, two-timing, unchaste, unreliable, untrustworthy, wicked imbecile! Ungrateful brat.

But i must forgive myself. Haih. But will some people do? Or am i forever a condemned being?

Then it seems to be unworth of me entering heaven, is it? At the back of curses and swearing?

Haiz. I must not cut myself. I must not.

But i am already psychologically. And near defeat. And people shall keep using me till i collapse under the burden of my own making.

Abba. abba?

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Must. Listen. To. From. The. Inside. Out.