indecision, heartaches, temptations and pain

Heartache,
Trust betrayed once more;
Suffering,
Pushed up against the wall;
Painful memories resurface,
What was healing is now torn open again.

The wounds has healed,
But it was torn open again so cruelly;
Maybe it's a test from God,
Maybe it's something to strengthen my faith.
Somehow though there's always a 'but' somewhere,
Somehow though it seems i can't go through the pain again.

Temptations,
To return to the way i was last time,
To fall back into the same old dark pit of sin and depression;
To make my gains in Jeremiah School,
To make it a lost;
To make it just another time wasted.

But i will not allow that to happen.
The time in JS was something only God can send;
I am permanently changed, i am not the same;
And i must make sure it stays as such.

Indecision,
Whether i shall leave those that hurts behind;
To call it long-gone, to call it beyond my repair.
Whether to uproot and change my path to something else,
Whether to move away from the things i know best;
To move into uncertainties that only God is certain about.

But hey, anywhere i go,
I must follow the will of God;
Whereever i go,
I must not forget who is the source of my life.