This week

Firstly, let me thank all of u guys for the encouragement that poured in. It was really the lifeline i needed.

Also, i would not deny that i have been good, connected to God this week. In any rate, i cried alot again and i fell to temptation many times. But God has been gracious, and i got alot to be thankful for this week.

SPM was both not up to my expectations yet betta than i'm was expecting. i will not post my exact results here, but i really can only thank God for it.

This week's events were also a sucess, with only a few mishaps. Another thing to thank God.

Anyway.
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The 3 weeks here back home has been draining. If anything, i reminded me of how weak i am spiritually n mentally, plus the fact that alot are still needed to be done in my life, and i am far from it. the trails are there to prove it. also, it showed me that i did improved in many ways, like in temper management, focus, ability to resist temptation and overall strength. It also reminded me that i have to be reliant on God, more than anything else in my life.

I also recieved a few confirmations on things, on which i am grateful, and also some painful kick in the butt to get decided on things. It was painful, but i can only be thankful for that. However, it showed me more uncertainies on many things, regarding security, affirmation, my identity and my future in general. I will be honest, i am totally worn out spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. i need a break and MYPC is a great avenue. I didn't expect rest is needed this fast but that's the way it is.

Also, it showed me how much i needed human affirmation and intimacy. And for that, i have to be grateful to my fellow JS mates, which i dearly miss, my mentor and counsellor, Austin, and my two partners-in-the-Lord, Sheng Yong (appreciate you opening up to me) and Andrew. It also confirmed somethings that have been happening (thanks, sui tim) and reminded me of God's wondrous grace and love to me (thanks mike sam).

One thing i am very insecure though. My future. I am being prompted to uproot. I don't know why but this is something unnatural. I am scared, nervous and i need direction. In short, i need time off to pray.

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God holds us together and grants us strength to carry on. wow. a great reminder of His love to us. I'm talking about How Great is Our God, Passion conference. Search it on youtube to find out.